The Artwork of Saying “No” by Saying “Sure”

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One thing I’ve realized in my years as a enterprise proprietor—and as an individual—is that the widespread denominator of lots of people’s issues shouldn’t be with the ability to say “no.” Once we be taught to say no, we will deal with shifting ahead, nourish our passions and, most significantly, defend our psychological well being. No good can come from people-pleasing behaviors and continuously denying our personal wants. 

So, why is saying no so arduous? 

Though a superb query, it’s a loaded one. Many elements play into the reply, together with the easy incontrovertible fact that when individuals ask for a favor or so that you can take one thing on, quite a lot of feelings come up. Saying no to those requests may be perceived as egocentric—whether or not it’s an inner wrestle or a wrestle with saying no to a consumer, coworker, worker or employer. Some individuals could take your “no” as not caring about them, or others may even see it as an indication of weak point.

Take into consideration when it’s a must to inform a consumer that you’re unable to groom their canine for one cause or one other and the way upsetting it sometimes is for each of you. Or perhaps it’s time to inform an worker that their targets for their very own profession don’t align with your small business mannequin. It’s a tough dialog to have, and it’s one which leaves each of you distressed. Human brains need good, optimistic experiences. We crave the “really feel good” impact that comes from endorphins, and we don’t need to be seen as tough. 

That is even more true for people who find themselves part of the service business. We now have a picture (a model) to uphold. Society is fast to show a “no” into a foul assessment or unfavourable gossip a few enterprise. The concern of the negativity that may fall upon a enterprise performs an enormous position within the issue many enterprise homeowners and staff have saying no. This concern causes a downward spiral as a result of we’re not being true to ourselves, and this fixed preventing with ourselves results in burnout. 

Did any of this resonate with you? 

The chances are stacked towards us with regards to people-pleasing, so it’s no surprise now we have such a tough time. Saying sure when individuals ask us for one thing is extra pure, optimistic and what we’re educated to do when offering a service in right now’s society. 

Finally, I received sick of being burnt out, making an attempt to dwell as much as society’s unrealistic expectations of grooming, and maintaining with the calls for of potential and present staff, so I knew I needed to discover a approach to change it. An lively change needed to be made to guard my psychological well being. However it doesn’t matter what I learn or did, it by no means appeared to stay, and I at all times discovered myself saying sure after I wished to say no. I adopted suggestions and tips precisely as they had been laid out and nonetheless wasn’t seeing outcomes. 

The issue was that I wasn’t using what works for me and my thought processes. I wanted one thing greater than, “Do that repetitively, and alter will come simpler.” It doesn’t matter what I attempted, I saved falling again into previous habits. 

So, I attempted one thing new. I began to interrupt every “no” down. As soon as I outlined the no and the rationale I wished to say it, I may provide you with methods to face behind it. Subsequent, I requested myself: How can I say no however sure on the identical time? Following these steps, I discovered my very own system that works for me. I’m now capable of say no with out feeling responsible. 

So, simply how can we are saying no with out feeling responsible or giving in? 

Right here just a few suggestions which have labored for me:

1. Listing it out. All of us have an inventory of issues we need to say no to for one cause or one other. Listing them out so they aren’t taking over area in your head. Don’t overthink it; simply begin writing. If you’re an individual who has a tough time concentrating in a single sitting, attempt preserving a pocket book with you or coming into them in your telephone. As you go about your day, jot issues down after they pop up. Take your massive record and slim it down by putting every merchandise in a class. I often have two classes: private {and professional}.

2. Focus. Choose one listed merchandise to provide you with a gameplan for. This doesn’t should be the merchandise that’s most essential to you. You may choose one thing which may be best to work with in the meanwhile. Generally the better ones will provide you with momentum as you’re employed on them so you possibly can construct as much as the more durable ones.

3. Outline your “why.” You will need to perceive why you might want to say no to this merchandise. Your why will assist you to keep on monitor when following by way of along with your no.

4. Plan for adversities. What may pop up that might cease you from following by way of along with your no? Right here’s a useful trace when itemizing this stuff: It’s often the justifications that you just inform your self, so dig by way of these first.

5. Discover the “sure.” We’re wired to say sure, so why can we really feel that now we have to work towards that? Give you some alternate options to your no that you would be able to say sure to. These choices must align with you and your values or else you’ll not keep on with saying no. 

6. Follow. Begin these practices straight away. The longer you dwell on them, the more durable they are going to be to implement. 

Pricing is a superb instance of one thing many enterprise homeowners and groomers wrestle to vary. Elevating costs may be scary as a result of you already know the consumer in all probability gained’t be pleased with having to pay more cash. Regardless, we have to elevate costs for a mess of causes; with the ability to pay aggressive wages, pay for elevated prices, handle inflation, account for advancing talent ranges, and so on. Once we elevate costs, we concern battle, getting our emotions damage or dropping purchasers. However these fears are among the adversities we should always plan for that would get in the way in which of claiming no.

Now, what sort of sure’s can we give to our purchasers to face behind the worth enhance? Can they arrive in additional typically to offset a much bigger enhance? Are you able to go shorter with the reduce to elongate the time in between grooms? Are you able to add in an additional service that doesn’t value a lot however provides worth for the consumer? No matter works greatest for you and your small business mannequin may be the reply to strolling that line between sure and no. When you’ve determined what your sure’s are, you can begin saying no with extra confidence and fewer battle.

This technique has allowed my groomers to develop into extra assured of their selections and make saying no a lot simpler. It permits me to make sensible enterprise selections and stand behind them. 

Individuals will at all times have one thing to say, and whereas we can’t management different individuals’s reactions, we will management the choices we make behind rising our companies. Make saying no simpler from the beginning so you should have extra time to deal with the issues that matter to you and make sense for your small business. ✂️

Denise Heroux

Denise Heroux has spent 25 years within the grooming business. She turned a enterprise proprietor in 2014, and since then, she has constructed her model to incorporate over 20 staff and three places with no sign of ending for growth. Taking the step into the subsequent chapter of her profession, she has determined to make use of her intensive expertise to assist the enterprise homeowners within the grooming business. She’s calling this new endeavor “The Formidable Groomer,” providing teaching, management, and worker seminars to assist create an excellent grooming enterprise each for the homeowners and their staff.



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